take your time, take a breath.

whew. so.

yesterday was tough. i realized alot of things, & im just trying to move forward away from being so negative.

it was only a few weeks of it really culminating, & i tend to think barely anyoe else noticed besides a select few, but I noticed. i wasn thappy. im not just magically happy now, but i want to make a sincere effort to PLAY happy. fake it til you make it. look on the bright side. i made a promise to myself at the end of august to look on the bright side. i havent in the least, ever since ive been lamenting the dark, dismal side. that side will always be there, & it sucks. so why focus on the bad? i am blessed in alot of ways & even if i cant see that in a moment, i cant deny that i have a real chance to make the best of my life & my situation. im only getting better. :) so is life.

back to the diet.... its only monday & im already super nervous for friday';s WI. i lost 1.8 lbs last week but im just scared i wont lose this week... oir it wont be that great of a loss. to tell you the truth 1.8 is a bit disappointing at this point. but im eating like a pig on weekends so i dot know what else to say to myself. except to TRY TRY TRY harder next time.

but friday i was OP just like i promised myself . 1700 calories was my cap & i was approx 1685. so woot! mission accomplished.

saturday was less than stellar.

i want to make a change this weekend. but first, to get through the week...