but we just cant start over

last week i weighed in at 213.6! 4 lbs! i was kinda surprised because i had a really treacherous weekend diet wise last week but hey. ill take it.!
i had high hopes for this week but i DOUBT anything supremely good can come of this. i was so good friday, weighed in on saturday and then when things didnt go according to my plan saturday night i went AWOL! my elite unit was pisssssssssssed. uh. anyway no so then that kind of continued itself into sunday, and then mondya by TOTAL accident... monday during the day i was perfect i just caved at night. AND ive had my period since sunday and its been particularly brutal. :(


so im trying to make ground before WI ... which is probably saturday. im just nervousssssss... bleh. i feel bigger. :(

see, those unrepenting buzzards want your life

OKAY first for the good news: last tuesday i weighed in at 217! woooowoo so i was merely incredibly bloated when the scales said 231. pshh. still 217 is a far cry from 193... so sad... i miss february!

so AGAIN ive been less than amazing thursday-sunday. what is WRONG with me/!?!?! i think its really the pot and how i just let myself go after one SERIOUSLY bad bad miserable day (thursday) and then im out of control until i so choose. i so chose today. obviously. monday. thank god. who says that?

anyway i am not giving up. ever. but especially not now. today is a new day, this is the beginning of my new life. after visiting boston this weekend i realized that that chapter of my life is over. i cant go back to living there and college. obviously... im a grad. my life is post-grad. welcome to GET OVER IT LAUREN. boston can still be a part of my life and itll always be like my home... but so have other places ive had to leave. okay. is that true, ? i think this is the first place i actually had to move away from. wellll.. anyway i take back nothing i said lol. i have to get throuhg this rough period.. who said this summer was going to be easy? they lie!

im gonna be freakin hot by the end, though. watch outtt

welcome back pott-er

oh man. so here i am. its june 5th and i am no longer under 200 lbs. wow. its kind of hard for me to realize this in print. i guess before i was like, oh only 25 pounds to lose and im back to where i was. but now its really hitting me to actually write it down here. for some reason this blog always makes me the most ... ashamed? embarassed? to admit my failures. which is crazy because no one even reads this lol but i thnk maybe its cause there is an entire side panel dedicated to reminding me how i keep backsliding and how when i threw it all away i was really at the best point i have ever been . 198, and i was stressing. im an idiot.

anyway NEW LIFE. haha. i graduated college (shoot me now) i miss boston terribly. and im home. forever. barf. not really. but yeah. i joined weight watchers last week. i am sticking to it this time. also not the first time this blog has heard that. well maybe its the first time ill follow through. (also not a new statement). BLOG STOP! the guilt is too much for me to take.

well i just figure either i succeed now, its my real life, or i just fall on my face and give up on life. im out of college, this is it. im on the fast track to looking back on 50 years and wondering where it all went. jesus. lets not waste this time, shall we?