i feel so alone.
you might think this has nothing to do with weight loss and so shouldnt be in this blog, but you're wrong. feelings affect this.
although now im just writing to get it out. to someone. im so alone. i fucked up so royally the last few weeks letting myself grow so so bitter & poisonous. it affects so deeply my relationships with people around me. so i have no one around me up here, as always. and the people i care about are all distant. in nj. so literal distance... & emotional. i was pushing everyone away like it was my MISSION. i thought it was the right thing to be doing, thats whats so crazy. iw as becoming so numb. but here i am snapping out of it & now the damage is done. i dont know what to do. & only one person to ask, having dethroned the other ones. & shes not picking up her phone.
i am such a screw-up. i really fucked up.
you might think this has nothing to do with weight loss and so shouldnt be in this blog, but you're wrong. feelings affect this.
although now im just writing to get it out. to someone. im so alone. i fucked up so royally the last few weeks letting myself grow so so bitter & poisonous. it affects so deeply my relationships with people around me. so i have no one around me up here, as always. and the people i care about are all distant. in nj. so literal distance... & emotional. i was pushing everyone away like it was my MISSION. i thought it was the right thing to be doing, thats whats so crazy. iw as becoming so numb. but here i am snapping out of it & now the damage is done. i dont know what to do. & only one person to ask, having dethroned the other ones. & shes not picking up her phone.
i am such a screw-up. i really fucked up.
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