ughhh

ugh i feel TERRIBLE. like so ill.

let's play catch-up:

after the disappointing WI i went to the gym & weighed myself after & was 220.8! so thats a yay.

i planned to be pretty OP & good, just figured id have a little more than usual.

i dont know... i think its the pot. i really cant control myself well while im high &... i dont know. i hate to admit this but i think the honeymoon period with weed is seriously coming to an end. i never thought id be able to say that. but it might be true. idk. it might be hurting more than helping at this point. & im trying to decide if its worth it.

anyway i feel like the fucking goodyear blimp right now, except more ill. i want to excersize - actually specifically i wanted to go for a run today but right now i feel like i can barely move. like i might puke if i attempt a bouncing form of mobility. ew. i hate myself. :(

honestly life is weird right now. not good. at all. n ot even coming home, whcih used to make me happy. now everytihng is sort of lackluster & downhill from here. boo. i never want to feel that way. :(