im having a mental debate with myselfffff. okay here it is: ive eaten barely anything today. like the plan! i did go to the gym, burned 700 cal but not much for my usual. smewhere between 3 and 4 i decided i wanted light ice cream & a cookie from the dining hall. and i also decided to go to the gym to make up for the calories id eat. then i didnt want to go to the gym, but then i realized i HAVE to go to the gym cause i stepped on the scale and it said 212. which isnt BAd because it is 6 at night and i had really salty soup & am wearing clothes and usually weigh myself in the mornings but still im alittle nervous... so now im thinking well if i really cared wouldnt i just go to the gym & then come right back here and eat the rest of the jello, say fuck the ice cream & cookies? like seriously i dont NEEd to eat that. im just like obsessed and thinking of it as a reward... which isnt cool. they should be totally separate things. bleh.
what should i do????!?1?!/1! i almost feel like i should drug myself to sleep and forget about it ALL. but thats so dumb! what is with me?!!?
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