who decides the test of what is really best?

ftrkafrkskQA AHHH i just wrote a whole thing and it got deleted because im an idiot.

fjkasfksdkafjdgjsfdhgjshjgriegfivsd,!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

anyway.

BASICALLY. ive been tossing and turning for the past hour trying to go to sleep, running numbers through my head. weight loss numbers, to be exact. and basically what ive come up with is that there is nothing wrong with 210 as my goal for christmas. 9 lbs in six weeks is a perfectly good weight loss, and i dont want to get my hopes up for 200. besides, ive been running through the numbers and i dont think i can get down to 200 by jan 1st. it's more likely i'll be like 205 or so. which is fine. i've lost 5 lbs a week before, last year around this time, and i got down to 220 before i shot back up to 230 and then finally to 240 for most of the year. and it just wasnt worth it. i'd rather go slowly down to 200, and keep going, then get there fast and then gain a few lbs back the next week or w/e . i mean, not saying that that would happen but who knows? id rather just play it safe and keep doing what i've been doing, if i'm 203 on jan 1st so what? the rate im going at is fine, its perfect, actually.

just need to keep on keeping on. :)

oh, and ive also been thinking that since i lost 30 lbs, it's going to start really showing sometime soon. it kind of takes a while for your body to really catch up with the numbers. so i'm excited for that.

okay hopefully i can go to sleep now. blahhhh.