i secretly want to be under 200 lbs by the new year. that's my *top-secret* new goal. my old goal was 210 but since im already 219, that's basically just a given. i havent changed it on weight watchers, though, because 200 is a bit of a stretch. i mean, its not a definite, like 210 is. so i keep 210 on there, knowing i'll make it. and i keep 200 in my mind, scared i wont make it and then ill have failed my goal. but i mean its basically my goal, regardless of whether its written down or not. if i am over 200 come january 1st, i'll be sad because i had this vision of starting the new year CLEAN, under 200 and never going back. its just a fake sort of deadline we set for ourselves, what do years really mean (hahah a hell of a whole lot) but ... yeahhhh its important. 19 lbs in six weeks! i think i can do it. ive done better.
anyway, im skipping class right now to go to the gym. haha. well not really, it just sort of happened. but now ill go to the gym. and really mean it. i just have to work SUPER hard and i'll definitely make my new secret goal.
but still, dont tell anyone haha.
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