diggin MY ditch <3

"sleeping lessons"

go without, 'til the need seeps in,
you're low anymore, collect your novel petals for the stem.

and glow, glow,
melt and flow,
eviscerate your fragile frame, and spill it out in the ragged floor,
a thousand different versions of yourself.

and if the old gods still offend,
they got nothing left on which you depend,
so enlist every ounce,
of your bright blood,
and off with their heads.

jump from the hook,
you're not obliged to swallow anything you despise,
see, those unrepenting buzzards want your life,
and they got no right,
as sure as you have eyes,
they got no right.

just put yourself in my new shoes,
and see that I do what I do,
because the old guard still offend,
we got nothing left on which we depend,
so enlist every ounce of your bright blood and off with their heads,
jump from the book,
you're not obliged to swallow anything that you despise.

i messed up last night. im here to admit that and move on. i realize now that the only way to make this work is to restart, regroup and reenergize. i need to eat totally pure. what ive learned about myself from three years of this shouldve told me that i cant really deal with "cheating" or eating my trigger foods unless ive first established a really strong base. so for now theyre just plain off limits. i can do this. andyour'e gonna watch me :)